My apologies for the lack of updates.. too much has been going on and I'm stressed. Anyway, i'll write more later. For now, enjoy this joke from the Readers Digest.

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The captain and his crew were far from port when they saw pirates heading for their ship.
The worried crew fell silent, but their captain stood tall and bellowed to his first mate,

“Bring me my red shirt.”

When the first mate returned, the captain donned the shirt and led his crew into battle. The pirates were roundly defeated.

Later that day, the lookout screamed that TWO pirate ships were heading their way. The captain, calm as ever, called for his red shirt, and with his crew, fought off the pirates.

Weary from battle, the sailors were sitting around the deck recounting the day’s fighting when an ensign turned to the captain and asked,

“Sir, why do you call for your red shirt before battle?”

The captain explained,

“If I am wounded, the red shirt won’t show the blood and you men will continue to fight unafraid.

The men sat in silence, amazed at his courage.

As dawn broke the following morning, the lookout yelled that TEN pirate ships were heading towards them. The men fell silent and turned to their captain for his usual command.

Calm as ever, he bellowed,

“Bring me my brown pants.”